Reflection: Making Decisions

​"How can I make the right decisions?", my sister asked me. This was a question that deeply resonated with me, especially since I know I am going to be making some tough decisions very soon.

What we might have wanted yesterday we might not want today. What we might want today might not be what we want tomorrow. I am under the impression that as a result of our changing desires, we are never fully capable of making the "right" decision. When we are making decisions we are limited in our capacity to fully grasp whether it might be the right one because we are bound to the knowledge that we have in this present moment. It's simple: we cannot know what we don't know, therefore most, if not all decisions, are made with some obscurity. Despite this gap, I think it is important that we are all making decisions based on what we think is best for us in this very moment.

It's difficult to project ourselves into the future to see the consequences of our decisions entirely. When I look back at the decisions I made earlier in my life, there's so much that I didn't know then that I know now. I would probably change a few things around, but doing so would take away from all the twists and turns to get here. If we knew everything there was to know about ourselves and our lives, then there would be nothing left to learn. The whole point of decision making is to learn from the outcomes of those decisions. Therefore, if we expect everything to be perfect all of the time, we are robbing ourselves of the very natural and very necessary ebbs and flows of life.

Sometimes it doesn't matter if something is "right" or "wrong"; what matters most is just making a decision, especially if you are someone that is fearful. Moving forward, even if you do not know where you will end up, is always going to be better than staying in the same place. Even though the consequences and outcomes might feel fuzzy, at least you know you are choosing your own potential over the fear that might be holding you back. I used to make myself sick with fear by obsessing over the future, but one thing I have learned is that worrying about the future won't make it any less painful or palatable, it's coming whether I like it or not.

​I do not know what I should be doing with my life. I am not entirely sure about what makes me happy. I do not have clarity over what my purpose is. I don't believe that these things are decided by us, rather these are things that find us as we shift and evolve. Maybe I can't decide what I want to do for the rest of my life, or what will make me feel the most fulfilled, but I can decide whether to go out for a walk right now. These larger questions that we all have might be answered by these smaller, intimate decisions that we make each and every second of our lives. Our lives are like collages; you collect and glue pieces on the way. It''s only when you put the page down to see what you have created that you truly understand what is that you want. It's a process, not a given.

Do not let decisions paralyze you from pursuing your unrealized potential. Everything has consequences and pain is an inevitable part of that process.  You just have to decide which ones are worth experiencing.