Reflection: Capturing Everyday

I had this wild idea to take photos of small moments throughout my day to capture the essence of how I was feeling that day. When I started this personal project, I was feeling very disassociated with myself - I totally had no idea who I was. I made a conscious effort to capture every emotion as truthfully as I could. This meant taking photos on days I was sick, days where my mental health felt compromised, and even days I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

Looking back on the 180 days I have captured, it is poetic to see how every day brings something different. Retrospectively looking back on these photos, I love is seeing how one day could have felt like the worst day in my life, followed by the next day being the best day ever. The contrast between days has taught me that the goal of living a well rounded existence isn't to be happy everyday, but to be resilient on good days and bad ones. A life well-lived is one that you can adjust and be flexible to, rather than chasing a singular state of being at all times.

This project has altered my mind in terms of what I consider a “good day." A good day is one where I can make it to the end not having sacrificed my sense of self. A day where I know I did my absolute best to be in alignment with my values and the things that actually matter to me. Capturing these small moments throughout the day gave me a sense of whether I was spending my time in a way that I had actually enjoyed. It prompted me to see patterns, and take note of the kinds of things that I wanted to be doing more or less of. 

​Likewise, I felt like having this separate space to actually be myself instead of this curated version of me gave me a sense of ownership over my life. I do not have to always take pictures of aesthetically pleasing things, nor do I have to create this persona for others to relate to - rather I could capture moments just because I wanted to capture them, with nothing to prove. This sort of liberation is why I've significantly decreased my time on social media, as I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to live through my photos anymore, rather I want my photos to capture my life as I am authentically living it. There is something sort of strange in taking pictures and sharing our lives with others - I no longer want to share my life, I want it to be entirely my own. I want what I am doing in my life to be my “little secret."

​It's really nice to have this separate repository for my authentic self. I am excited to make it to 360 days and to see all of the patterns in who I am becoming. I still remember the first day I started this journey; it felt silly to take pictures of obscure and miscellaneous things but now I wouldn't have it any other way.