Reflection: A Dog

It wasn't until he came into my life that I could fully grasp what it meant to love something purely and unconditionally. His presence breathes color into my life, and he has been my greatest teacher. To care for a being that completely depends on me has been one of the most grounding experiences I have ever had, and I don't take caring for him lightly. Maybe it's because I wish I was brought up differently, and I get to finally give him the love that I felt I had missed out on. He's given me a second chance at experiencing childhood. I get to frolic in the grass, play, and freely express the quirky and silly parts of myself. It's hard to be serious when I'm holding him in my arms, and in a lot of ways he anchors me back down to Earth. When you love something so much, you want nothing more than to be as present with them as possible, and he's taught me the valuable lesson of savoring time. Time is the most precious currency, and all of us are running in circles trying to get more of it. What if instead of pursuing, we surrendered? Pursuit will never satiate our hunger, it will only make our stomachs grow bigger. When will it be enough? I ask myself that question all the time. I dreamed of being the person that I am now, but it still doesn't feel like enough sometimes. What is it then? Does the absence of desire allow for greater abundance? Does silence allow for the universe to communicate with us? I'm starting to realize that none of us actually want the things that we want, rather we find comfort in the wanting. If I don't want anything, then am I really here, am I really alive? To be alive means to yearn, to react, to want things - right? But what if you separate yourself from all of it, what are you left with? What if I became absolutely nothing?