Reflection: Candles

Longing for the perfect moment is just one of many ways in which we separate ourselves from happiness. How many of us hoard things (literal and metaphorical), waiting for the right time to use them? Untouched candles, unworn dresses, unopened boxes. I thought that I needed to wait for the right moment to enjoy things. How dare I try to be spontaneous? It was as if the joy that came with spontaneity needed to be earned through suffering. There was a lot of self-sabotage involved, which weakened my sense of self. I buried my deepest desires in a blanket of self-loathing and sacrifice; it didn't matter what I wanted. In that process, I left many things untouched. There were emotions that had never surfaced, desires that had never been explored, dreams that had never been realized. These sorts of things feel akin to unlit candles; the candle is there waiting patiently for its flame, but fearing that the time isn't right, it ends up being tucked away and forgotten instead. We keep waiting for "someday" to happen, until it doesn't and one day we find the candle sitting there wishing we had lit it when we had the chance.

Life isn't fair, that's kind of the point of it, but how much sweeter would it be if we actually pulled ourselves closer to the rhythm inside of our souls? If we said what needed to be said, if we aligned with our truest selves, if we acted from a place of love instead of fear. It's easier said than done, I know — but what would life look like? or more importantly, what would life feel like? Light those candles while you have them. You don't need validation or a sign from the universe. Your existence in and of itself is a manifestation of your potential; it doesn't have to be earned, it simply is. What you are looking for is also looking for you.